E-couragement: Where Are You Running?

September 2008 “All men should strive to learn before they die—what they are running from, to, and why.” -- James Thurber

Labor Day weekend found me in Staunton Va. The beautiful Shenandoah Valley was the location for our annual Schlentz summer family gathering. We converged on my sister and brother-in-law’s farmhouse, arriving from New Jersey, California, Pennsylvania, and North Carolina. My family is, by nature, an active group enjoying physical events that can be scored, measured, or timed. Competition is in our heritage and we can’t shake it. As always, this reunion included family runs to determine what type of shape we’re all in and chatting about our most recent life journeys.

I grew up in Freehold, NJ, a town located near the Jersey Shore and famous for producing Bruce Springsteen (The Boss!). I can still vividly recall my senior year of high school. How anxious I was to leave my home state, ready to run from the cold, overcast skies, the crowding, my friends, and all that was holding me back. I was running toward a fresh start. Headed toward new dreams. My route would take me five hundred miles south to UNC Greensboro. My dreams included winning national championships and playing professional soccer. I could see it so clearly. I would return to NJ a hero. The kid who left, chased down his dreams, and returned on top of the world. I was not naive enough to think that this journey and my dreams would come without a price. Under my senior high school yearbook picture were the Bruce Springsteen lyrics, “The door is open, but the ride ain’t free.” I was prepared, complete with a blue-collar work ethic and a high tolerance for pain.

As I reflect back, it seems like I’ve been running practically my whole life. After graduating from UNCG (national championships—Yes, professional soccer career—No), the race continued with the need to appear successful in business, family, church, and with material possessions. Somewhere in my late 30’s to early 40’s, it began to wear on me. Not just physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. Juanell Teague says, “The journey from knowledge into wisdom is the journey of insight.” At some point I decided to stop running and be still, halting the blurring motion of movement to take a look inside of myself. What I discovered was that I had not been running from New Jersey, overcast skies, crowded places, or my friends. I was running from emptiness, confusion, and conflict that resided within me. I was not running to national championships or professional soccer. I was running toward the hope that personal accomplishments would prove I was valuable, important, and that I would measure up. Without even knowing it, I was attempting to find fulfillment, understanding, and peace…only on the wrong course. You see, the race was never outside myself; it was always inside of me.

Things are different now. I still run 10K’s and half-marathons. Outside of that, I am discovering peace. I am finding myself. It doesn’t make sense that it would take this long to get to know who I am. I’ve been here all along—so it seems. It has, at times, been an exhausting and exhilarating journey—I believe it was meant to be that way. Anything worthwhile in life costs something—remember, the ride ain’t free. Instead of running from myself, I now run toward the person I’m meant to be. My life course is purposeful and meaningful. In his book, Wild At Heart, John Eldredge says that both boys and men, deep in their hearts, are seeking an answer to the same question: Am I enough? My race has led to my own answer: YES! I lack nothing. What I’ve been seeking has been here all along. It took time, courage, and insight to discover that. Several months ago my friend Joey called with free tickets for a Springsteen concert at the Greensboro Coliseum. It doesn’t get much better than that. Joey also grew up in NJ, for us it was a brief homecoming. Toward the end of the two-hour concert, thousands in the audience were standing, swaying and belting out a line from one of Bruce’s 1980’s hits…“Tramps like us, baby we were born to run.”