E-couragement: Engage Them Or Lose Them
November 2008 “We trust, admire and follow authentic people because we long to be authentic ourselves.” -- The Leaders Voice
When my daughter was seven she was terrified of storms—particularly the ones that would suddenly appear on late summer afternoons; dark clouds quickly approaching, treetops whipping in the wind, rain falling sideways. Each time she would retreat to the living room couch, lay in the fetal position, and shake violently. This didn’t sit well with me. I am her Dad. Dads fix things. During one of these storms, I approached her trembling body, sure that I had the capability to change things. I said, “Taylor, I am your Dad. I will protect you. This storm will not harm you as long as I am here.” In spite of my words of comfort, she continued to shake and be afraid.
Then came another storm. I approached the couch, “Taylor, we live in central North Carolina. The weather patterns here are rarely disastrous. We are safe from floods, tornadoes, and hurricanes. This storm will pass us by, you are safe.” She continued to tremble. Again my words had no impact.
A few weeks later another summer storm approached. I had an idea. “Taylor, our house was built in the 1940’s. Back then, two-by-fours where actually two-by-four. This house is sturdy and strong. You are safe here, the storm will pass and you will be fine.” The trembling did not stop. Strike three. This was not the result I’d expected. I was becoming frustrated with my lack of success.
After receiving advice from a friend, I decided to try a different tactic. As the next summer storm zeroed in on our neighborhood, I found Taylor in her usual spot, trembling on the living room couch. I sat down beside her, put my hand on her shoulder and said, “Taylor, it’s okay to be afraid.” Glancing up at me with her youthful eyes she asked, “Dad, what are you afraid of?” Without hesitation I spoke from my heart, “I guess I’m most afraid of losing you or your sister.” She sat up and we began a conversation. The trembling stopped. Just like that, things changed.
As I reflect back, here’s what I learned. I thought my daughter needed a Super-Hero Dad, or a Meteorologist Dad, or perhaps an Engineer Dad. I was sure any one of those images would make her feel safe. Yet, all along, she was searching for two things—the freedom to be herself and the opportunity to know her Real Dad; her Authentic Dad. One who could admit that sometimes he’s afraid and doesn’t always know the answers. In that moment I chose to lead authentically and my daughter willingly followed. She was engaged by my openness.
What does this have to do with the workplace? Everything! According to research, the average American worker today is disengaged and disenfranchised. In the work that I do with companies, I see evidence of this disengagement every day. I shudder every time I ask someone to tell me about their work and they dejectedly respond, “Twelve more years.” What? Do employee actually long for their life after work as if being incarcerated by the company they represent? The workplace needs to be re-energized. We need a corporate revival to take place in order to reengage our “troops.” We cannot wait, hoping for more resources. We must act now!
The best way to begin engaging your organization and team is through leadership. Authentic leadership. Leadership that can be trusted. Leaders often try to become someone they think others want to follow. That can mean having all the answers, making all the “right” decisions, appearing to have it all together—flawless. When in reality, people are searching for a genuine, sincere and authentic leader. They’re not looking for a perfect being—they’re looking for a human being.
Authentic leaders listen and seek out the ideas of others. Authentic leaders are confident in themselves and their team. They bring their true selves to work and inspire others to do the same. They allow followers to solve problems by contributing their unique gifts and talents resulting in creative, effective workplaces.
Being an authentic leader is risky. It is rare. It takes courage. It means being real, flawed, and human. It is worth it! You can expect to gain commitment, loyalty, and a peaceful night’s sleep. Priceless. You have a choice, become an authentic leader who engages your people—or lose them. Which will it be?