E-couragment: What Role Will You Play?
July 2008 “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” -- Buddhist Proverb
Growing up, I never enjoyed school. I earned average grades. Prior to college, I can’t recall liking many teachers. In fifth grade I had Mr. Kelly, a stern, unhappy man who made us copy blackboards full of sentences into our notebooks. This never made sense to me. It seemed like busy work when I could be launching spitballs onto the ceiling, observing how many might stick. One day while my classmates and I were waiting in the hallway, I broke into my Mr. Kelly impersonation. My audience was captivated. Their eyes fixed on me with gapping mouths. As a comedian would say, “I was killin’ it.” What I didn’t know was that Mr. Kelly was right behind me waiting for my show to conclude—bringing the curtain down on my comedy career. Where were all the John Keatings (Robin Williams’ character in Dead Poets Society)? Where were the instructors who took time to identify and nurture the talents inside their students? Who was responsible for fanning the flames of inspiration? I was certain they weren’t employed in my Central New Jersey school district.
Looking back, I see things differently. Maybe it wasn’t them. Perhaps it was me. Why did I even need teachers back then? Didn’t I already know it all? Come to think of it, I didn’t respect their position as teacher, nor did I fulfill my role as student.
Lately, a phrase pops up in my mind, “Accepting my role as a student.” Life can be ironic. These days I teach as part of my career. Can it also be that I am finally settling into my role as student? Perhaps my best opportunity to impact others comes from my willingness to listen and learn myself. For me, some of life’s most revealing teachers are those that seem to deliver the toughest lessons -- like losing my Mom, getting fired, or my wife’s cancer diagnosis. Here are a few “teachers” that have provided me with life altering lessons over recent years:
Early morning solitude teaches me to listen. It’s in this silence that I can hear God’s voice. When I am out running alone, I receive creative solutions for my clients, chapter ideas for my book or the next installment of the Monthly E-couragement. In the quiet, the answers and ideas—which were already there—speak their voices.
Clients often serve as my teachers. I observe their willingness to grow and change. I listen to their stories of triumph and tragedy. Witnessing their determination to fulfill their life purpose inspires me to follow my own dreams—finding the strength and discipline to keep stretching and growing.
Writing/journaling teaches me about myself. It demonstrates that I have talents that lay dormant inside me. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I considered my written words worthy or valuable enough to share. Now I am preparing to complete my first book.
My business partner, Emily, has taught me that trust and grace are the foundation for any successful business partnership. It has become our competitive advantage—more important than cash flow, branding, or cutting edge technology.
My daughters have been teaching me for 17 and 11 years respectively. They have helped me learn to cry, give and receive affection, listen, love unconditionally and shop for accessories.
My wife, Ivy, has taught me about the courage to choose your thoughts by refusing to believe in words like incurable and inoperable and adopting thoughts like cure, longevity, and healing. Where would I be without these and many other teachers in my life? I am thankful that somewhere in my forties I became comfortable with the role of student. Today, I awake each morning wondering what learning and insight is in store for me. I pay attention to the lessons that come my way, ultimately creating a better person in their wake.
Who are your teachers? When are you the student? What lessons are waiting for you? Choose to be a student and your teachers will appear.