E-couragment: Courage and Fear...
May 2008 “Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage if you’re not scared.” -- Captain Eddie Rickenbacker, WWI Ace
John Wayne. The Lone Ranger. Clint Eastwood. These were some of my TV role models growing up. They were heroic, strong, bold, and fearless. When I close my eyes, I can picture myself as a hero. I can envision myself as a daring and adventurous person. But Fearless? My similarities with these role models ends right there. I am often fearful. For many years, I considered this a weakness and an inadequacy. I see things differently today.
I have two daughters and have seen my share of princess movies. In the Princess Diaries (1 and 2), the main character, Mia, finds out that she is heir to the throne of Genovia. Spending her life in lower-middle class San Francisco did not prepare her for this adventure. She is overwhelmed and scared. When encountering one particularly fearful moment, she gazes upon a portrait of her deceased father and recalls his voice saying, “Courage is not the absence of fear; but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
That’s it! Thank you Princess Mia. It’s okay to be afraid! As a matter of fact, without fear, there would be no need for courage. Courage is our willingness to walk forward in the face of fear. It is the whole-hearted belief that what is on the other side of fear is meaningful, inspiring, and important enough for us to press forward. What are some ways you can foster and cultivate more courage in your life? Here are some suggestions:
1. Release the grip on your comfort zone—join the adventure. Stop looking for excitement on your TV, DVD, Fantasy Football League or your Harlequin novel. All the wonder you could ever need is waiting for you just outside your comfort zone. Yes, you will be afraid. You will also be amazed at the exciting adventure before you. 2. Reframe your view about being afraid—embrace it. Fear is just another way of letting you know you are moving towards new opportunity. It indicates that you are stretching and growing into new opportunities and becoming the person you were meant to be. Instead of fearing fear, greet it politely and tip your hat as you walk on by towards your future. 3. Rely on others to boost your confidence—even The Lone Ranger had his sidekick Tonto. Reflect on who you spend time with. Do they ENcourage or DIScourage you? Are you stronger or weaker after your interactions? Determine to spend time with those who will cheer you on as you face your fears and live the life you were meant to live. 4. Reprogram the voices in your head—stop believing those old lies. Replace, “Fear is a sign of weakness” with “I am strong enough to be aware of my fears and press on through them.” Change, “Asking for help and support is admitting failure” to “I am confident and strong enough to ask others for support when I need it.” You are all grown up. Time to discard those old, heavy lies you’ve been carrying around for so many years and replace them with higher and lighter truths. 5. Recognize your strengths—they will carry you through any challenge. Too much attention and energy is wasted on your weaknesses. Time to clearly recognize your unique combinations of strengths. Are you persistent? Creative? Caring? A risk taker? Detailed? Claim your strengths, write them down, speak them to yourself and thank others who see them in you.
These days I boldly proclaim, “I am often afraid and I am courageous!” No longer paralyzed by fear, I move confidently in the face of my fears. Embark on the adventure that you were destined to experience. Be sure to pack your courage.