E-couragment: Earning Loyalty
March 2008 “It is easy to be brave from a safe distance.” -- Aesop
One of the coolest parts of my career is the opportunity to work alongside some great clients. I frequently have the opportunity to witness real life examples of true leadership. Tom Turner is one of those examples.
When my business partner and I first connected with Tom, he wanted to create ongoing workshops that would help his team members grow personally and professionally. He’s smart enough to know that better people make better organizations.
Tom didn’t just “send” his team to training. He was fully involved with the entire process. When it came time for him to share his personal development vision, Tom let it all out. He shared with his team the importance of creating and maintaining balance in his life and that being a good dad was a top priority for him. If that meant leaving work on time to coach his son’s baseball team, he would do it. Tom also shared his professional goals. He discussed where he wanted to “grow to” in the company and the skills he needed to get there. He mentioned how important his team was to him and the type of leader he wanted to be for them. He shared how his hero, his dad, had helped shape him. Some of Tom’s vision was so personal that it caused him to become emotional. He didn’t hold back, he invited his team to “see” inside of him.
This is what I know about those who follow Tom Turner: They are committed to their own personal development and to the department goals that they set together. They are also deeply committed to their leader and they respect and admire him. You can see it in their eyes, hear it in their voices, and watch it in their actions. They are that way because Tom is real. He lets them in. He shares who he is. He doesn’t put the “corporate” mask on when he goes to work. He wears his own face at all times. This takes courage. It gets him results. Tom’s team is fiercely loyal to him—he has earned it.
People want us to let them in, to share who we are. They want to know what motivates us, what we value, what we believe in, and what we fear. Plain and simple, others want to know that we are human, imperfect and real. Here’s the problem: it’s risky and scary. These past few years, I’ve begun to study and speak about the myths and lies that leaders sometimes believe. I am aware of these lies because at one time or another I believed in and spoke them myself. Here’s one I hear regularly: “I don’t bring my personal life to work and I never bring my work home either!” What is up with that? Can you actually live two separate lives? We are not made up of “parts.” It is exhausting to compartmentalize ourselves into corporate life, personal life, church life, volunteer life, etc. We are who we are in all the places we go and with all the people with whom we interact. In order to be compelling leaders, we must be willing to share our lives—our whole selves—with the people we lead.
In his book, Maybe You Never Cry Again, the late Bernie Mac recalled a time when he was still struggling to launch his comedy career. He had a chance encounter with comic legend, Red Foxx. After observing one of Bernie’s performances, Foxx offered this feedback: “You’re afraid to show people what you’ve got inside. And that’s where the best stuff is, the stuff that’s buried way deep down…if you don’t dig, you won’t be giving us anything real—you’ll be keeping the good stuff locked away.” When Bernie Mac had the courage to accept Foxx’s advice and risked being real, his career took off.
Don’t lock the good stuff away. Whether you’re a comedian, entrepreneur, corporate leader, parent or friend, others want to know you. Begin to share things about yourself that others might not know from working with you. Dig down. Be real. Tell them about your family, your interests, your passions, what and who has shaped your life. Sharing who you are is not safe. It takes courage and comes with a price, yet the rewards are well worth it— the loyalty of others.