E-couragement: Truth

“Who owns the truth? Each of us owns a piece of it, and nobody owns all of it.” Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations Not long after Ivy’s death I was having coffee and conversation with my friend and minister, Catherine Klein. I had taken a month off from work to begin my grieving process. This down time was also an opportunity to re-evaluate some of my beliefs. When Ivy’s stage IV breast cancer was diagnosed, we chose not to adopt the medical belief or language that her cancer was incurable. We felt certain we would be able to manifest her total healing.

Our deep conviction did not materialize in this instance. Ivy did not heal; the cancer did bring her life, here, to an end. During this coffee shop interaction with Catherine I was keenly aware of the emotions pulsing through my veins. I was angry with how things had turned out. I felt robbed that I had such a short time with the first woman I had loved with my whole self. I was disappointed that our deep belief was not enough. I felt foolish for trusting that things would turn out differently than they did.

After voicing my emotions to Catherine, she gently asked several important questions from a loving spirit. At one point she inquired, “Rich, if you had known this outcome at the beginning of your journey with Ivy, what would you have done differently?” It took only a brief moment to respond. “Nothing. I still would have married her.” Speaking that truth out loud helped to extinguish the flames of anger and second-guessing.

I left that conversation with a revelation: It was okay to question my truths. It’s even healthy to do so. It’s perfectly acceptable to reframe and recalibrate beliefs within the context of my personal experience and circumstance. I was reminded that most of my life truths ebb and flow while only a few of them remain steadfast and constant over time.

Figuring out your own personal truths and beliefs takes work. It takes time. It’s not always comfortable. Resist the temptation to outsource your truth to another person or institution. Trust yourself and do the work necessary to understand your own journey and the teachings it has for you. You’re accountable for owning and living out your own truths and beliefs. You’re worth the time and effort to figure it all out.

Leave your comments: In what ways has life reshaped your own personal truths and beliefs?