E-couragement: When that Shark Bites…

“Be grateful to everyone. All situations teach you, and often it’s the tough ones that teach you the most.” Pema Chodron

I was working at my desk when the call came almost one year ago today. It was the mom of one of my daughter’s best friends. Twenty-four hours earlier, 13-year old Carley had excitedly left for the coast with their family. “Rich,” I could sense some trepidation in her voice, “this is Lauren …aaah…we’re on the beach…Carley got bit.” As the neurons in my brain began to fire at lightning speed, I concluded that she must have meant “stung” as in: stung by a jelly fish. “Lauren, what do you think bit her?” I questioned. After a slight pause I heard words that the parenting class I had taken decades earlier had never prepared me for: “A shark,” she said.

The next few hours were a blur as my wife, Ivy, and I sped along I40 East towards the hospital in Wilmington, North Carolina where Carley was being transported. Ivy became the calming force in those initial moments when my head and heart seemed to be spinning out of control. By the time we arrived at the hospital, almost four hours later, a surgeon had already repaired the gaping hole in Carley’s foot with over eighty stitches.

This rare encounter with a bull shark instantly thrust Carley into the limelight. She spoke with several newspaper reporters and conducted a live television interview, via satellite, with CBS in New York City (click here to watch the archived video). I was thoroughly impressed with her poise and communication skills during the national interest in her incident. It was at that moment, observing Carley’s confidence and maturity, that I decided to open up and allow a spirit of gratitude to do its work in me.

Gratitude is a key ingredient for an engaging life and work culture. Gratefulness is not a feeling, rather a decision. Reflecting back on our event, I’ve determined to replace anger or regret with gratitude. Based on the shark experience with my daughter, I’m grateful that:

• Her injuries were not worse. After two months on crutches and the healing of 80+ stitches, Carley returned to her typical vibrant and energetic lifestyle.
• Friends provide so much support. Upon returning home, Carley was immediately surrounded by a “posse” of friends 24/7. They watched movies with her, created amusing cards for her, laughed with her, and let her know how much she was loved.
• My wife was available to support me when I needed it. We all have times that require others to be strong and help prop us up.
• We had access to a highly trained surgeon who, like a skilled craftsman, was able to repair the hole in my daughter’s foot so that she wouldn’t be self conscious about the huge scar in years to come.
• I have strong and sensitive daughters. It was amazing to observe Carley’s honesty about her fears and her courage to return to the beach a few short weeks later.

I’m a firm believer in the Buddhist proverb, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” I was not immediately open to the “bull shark teacher” that showed up for me that summer day along the North Carolina coast. A year later, I am grateful for the lessons it taught me. Take advantage of the power you possess by choosing gratitude with any situation that comes your way.