E-couragement: We Want You!

November 2007 “Who and what we are is so magnificent that it far exceeds our wildest imaginations and dreams.” -- Henry Grayson

I can’t help recalling the World War II poster of Uncle Sam, “We Want You.” His finger pointed straight at me. That’s a compelling poster. There’s no doubt as to whom Uncle Sam is talking. No doubt that Uncle Sam wants me because I can make a difference. I can have a meaningful impact on the future of the Free World. That’s pretty powerful.

Imagine that same poster. Only this time the picture includes the faces of the people who look to you for leadership and support. Their fingers are pointed straight at you. Close your eyes. Can you see it? They want you! Yes, YOU. This is no time to fall back on your misunderstanding of what it means to be humble. It’s okay to admit that they want YOU because you are their leader and they need you!

I recently rented the movie Saving Private Ryan. I was mesmerized with the relationships within the group of men that were sent to find Private Ryan. Their leader was Captain John H. Miller (played by Tom Hanks.) While Miller tried to keep his private life at a distance, his platoon ached to know more about him. Eventually, to break the tension and dissention of some of his men, he begins to open up about who he really is. He’s not only a captain; he’s a husband and a schoolteacher with real dreams of returning home someday. His men lock in on him as he shares part of himself; they are yearning to know about their leader.

Here are some ways to be closer to the people that matter both personally and professionally:

• Be present. Gandhi said, “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” It is imperative that we work and live at a pace that allows us to be present and “in the moment” with people. It is impossible to be present and everywhere at the same time. Start by clearing some space in your calendar. The world will not come to a screeching halt. Make a conscious effort to be present more often with your coworkers, direct reports, children, spouse, and with yourself. The difference between “no where” and “now here” is a simple space. It’s up to you to open up the space to be available for others.
• Build rapport. Rapport is the foundation upon which all meaningful relationships are built. It takes no skill to notice how people are different from us. It does take some ability to uncover how we are all similar. Take random moments and ask questions of others until you find a point of commonality. It won’t take long because, in reality, we are all more alike than different. Don’t wait till things get rough before trying to build rapport with others. The best time to begin is NOW.
• Listen. True listening isn’t passive. Real listening is athletic. It takes concentration and focus. You must be willing to get rid of distractions, listen with intent, and ask probing questions that help you gain insight and understanding. Physically resist the urge to jump to conclusions. Wayne Dyer wrote, “As ironic as it may sound, we’re far more inspiring to others when we’re willing to listen than when we’re giving them advice.” When is the last time you can recall someone asking you to get together because they needed someone to lend an ear? If you are struggling to remember…maybe you could be a better listener.

People want to know who you are! It’s risky and it’s scary, yet, in order to be a compelling leader, you must be willing to lead and live up close. Whether you are an army captain, entrepreneur, corporate leader, parent, or friend, people want to know you. Invest the time to get to know others and let them see inside of you. Begin sharing things about yourself with your team that they might not know from working with you. Be present, build rapport, and listen. These things take courage. Take the risk. The rewards will be great.