E-couragement: Live Unconditionally
January 2007 “Without a deep and burning desire of our own, we will be ruled by the desires of others…The damage, of course, is a life lost unto itself.” -- John Eldredge
“Taylor, what can you do to make me love you more?” “Nothing, Dad.” “Carley, what can you do to make me love you less?” “Nothing, Daddy.”
That was our game. It started when my daughters were very young. We played it once or twice a week for years. Sometimes, even today, I will ask them the same questions. They may roll their eyes, but their answer is still the same, “Nothing, Dad.” It is an important game. I want them to know, deep down inside, that some things transcend the passing of time – regardless of the success and failures of their lives. Some things are unconditional, like their father’s love.
The majority of our lives are lived with conditions. If you stick to the rules, you get to go out Friday evening. If we hit our numbers, we will receive a bonus. If you play the game, you will get the promotion you’re after. On and on it goes.
What is unconditional and nonnegotiable in your life? In what areas of life do you exercise unconditional commitment to yourself? Here are some suggestions worth considering (because you are worth it):
1.Unconditionally lead your own personal growth and development. This should not be swayed by how well you think you are doing or how bad things seem to be. If you have ever flown on an airplane, you may have paid attention (only once) to the flight attendant’s safety announcement. If the cabin pressure drops and the oxygen masks descend from the overhead compartment, you are first supposed to do what? Put the oxygen mask over your face, and then help the person beside you. That seems so selfish. Does it? We all get it. If you don’t have an adequate oxygen supply, you’re not much help to others. Be committed to your growth first…then support others on their journey.
2.Unconditionally stay true to your dreams. Think about them, write them down, speak of them, ask someone you trust to support them, and most importantly, act upon them! Your dreams will inspire some to follow and others to have the courage to dream themselves. Either way everyone is better off.
3.Unconditionally commit to know and grow the people around you. We all lead in some capacity. Commit to knowing the talents and dreams of important people in your life and help them achieve their greatness. If you are a business leader and your staff, department, or company has more than 10 – 15 people, commit to a core group of people (no more than four to six) and then teach them to grow the others. Sometimes this means helping people find a better fit outside of your organization. As Tom Peters says, “Make heroes at all levels.”
This is an uncommon way to live. In the movie Miracle, Herb Brooks, 1980 Men’s Gold Medal Olympic Hockey Coach, said, “This cannot be a team of common men, because common men go nowhere. You have to be uncommon.” In a world that changes ever so rapidly, your commitment to yourself and others to live beyond conditions will become your uncommon advantage.