E-couragement: The High School Yearbook Curse

“Clinging to the past is the problem. Embracing change is the answer.”Gloria Steinem

I was wedged between my bed and the adjacent bookshelf, reminiscing through the pages of my Freehold Boro High School yearbook. My mind began to drift, returning to New Jersey, circa 1982. It was early June and freedom lingered a few weeks away. The only thing standing between me and the adventure of college in the south were final exams, a graduation ceremony, and the ritual signing of our senior class yearbooks.

Reflecting upon this signing tradition, there seems to be a common phrase inked within the pages of most yearbooks. I call it the High School Yearbook Curse. It looks like this: “It’s been great getting to know you through the years. Have a great summer. Don’t ever change.” Did you catch it? It’s the expression, Don’t ever change. The intent behind these words is well meaning. It remains, however, a curse. I shudder to think, what if I had followed that advice? What if I hadn’t changed since my eighteenth year?

Here’s reality. I was a teenaged knucklehead. Yes, I’ll admit it. Not proud of it. I’m sure I did the best I could under the circumstances. I had great friends who had been by my side since grammar school. Nonetheless, if we shot them full of truth serum, I’m sure they wouldn't recommend I actually “never change.” How could we wish that upon anyone. What would I have to offer this world if I hadn’t changed these past 30 years?

One of the most meaningful compliments I’ve received was from my oldest daughter, Taylor. During the drive home from a family vacation my wife, Ivy, suggested we play the affirmation game. This is when each of us tells the others what we admire about them. When it was Taylor’s turn, we locked eyes in the rear view mirror and she said, “Dad, I admire how you’ve changed.” Thank goodness, I thought to myself.

There’s an interesting conundrum here. We tend to resist change. We fight it. We fear it. In other words, we are seeking to fulfill our very own High School Year Book Curse by remaining as we are. You owe it to yourself and the world at-large to change, evolve, grow, and develop into your highest self. Can you imagine recommending that a caterpillar or an acorn “never change?” Our world would be void of butterflies and mighty oak trees.

As I put aside my high school yearbook for a future day of reflection, here’s my hope for you. Resist the temptation to remain the same. Go ahead and change into the person you’re designed to be. It’s the greatest gift you can offer yourself and others. It’s been great getting to know you through the years. Have a great summer. Be sure to change.

Leave your comments: In what ways have you changed and grown over time? How have you been able to overcome the natural resistance to change?