E-couragement: Transformation

“Transformation is limitless since it stems from an evolving discovery and expression of the authentic self.” Michael Bernard Beckwith

Two weeks ago, I was in route to the airport when a call came from my Dad’s wife at 4:48 a.m. “Richard, I’m at the emergency room with your father. He’s breathing but unresponsive.” Her call caused me to change course, my new destination, the Cone Health emergency room. I wondered what could have happened. Three days earlier my dad was in the audience listening to me speak. Afterwards, a small group attended brunch where this 82-year old independent, healthy, and active man made us laugh with his quirky nature.

My dad was born in 1930. I don’t know a lot of details from his youth. He’s part of a generation that guarded intimate details of their lives. I did hear enough to draw some conclusions. Here are a few facts about Warren Schlentz:

• He did not have a supportive, present, and loving father. My dad did speak of the single time his father attended one of his youth sporting events.  
• Growing up, my dad felt the full force of the Great Depression. He and my mom reared five children. Those depression era skills were critical as they worked to make ends meet.
• My dad was raised in a generation of males that struggled with their emotions. He was part of a family environment that rarely expressed love and affection. Anger was the primary emotion my dad witnessed from male role models.

For the first half of his life, my dad was the product of his experiences. He kept a safe distance from close relationships, controlled our family budget like Ebenezer Scrooge, and was prone to outbursts of anger and rage. Then he changed. Actually, it was a slow and steady transformation similar to a caterpillar disappearing into its cocoon and eventually emerging as a butterfly. The evidence of my dad’s transformation was visible on several fronts:

• From the age of eight until twenty-one, I played competitive soccer year round. Over a thousand games in untold locations. The one constant factor was my dad’s presence. Even though his childhood experience was with an uninvolved father, my dad transformed into a man who was present and accounted for.
• Shortly after graduating from college I had what Michael Gerber, in his book The E-Myth, refers to as an entrepreneurial seizure. I wanted to buy a business. Lacking the financial capabilities, I turned to my dad for a business loan. The man who was financially conservative and disciplined agreed to make an investment in me that was risky and haphazard. There was no logical reason he should have given me money—except that I was his son. Even though his early life experience was filled with lack, limitation, and scarcity, my dad transformed into an abundant resource for his children.
• Throughout his life, my dad struggled to show emotion and affection. Little by little he softened. After having grandchildren he began to hug and kiss me hello and goodbye. Recently we were in Raleigh celebrating the college graduation of my daughter Taylor. While toasting champagne, my dad stood up and looked into his granddaughters eyes. With a quivering voice he spoke from his heart and expressed how important Taylor was to him. Even though he grew up with a tough and protected heart, he transformed into a dad and grandpa who shared his emotions from a tender heart.

Less than 24-hours after receiving the call, a cerebral hemorrhage caused my dad to transition from this life. Although he departed from this physical world, he left a powerful legacy—one of transformation. What a great gift for his children, grandchildren, and friends. Although our early life experiences influence who we are—they don’t have to determine who we become. Thanks dad for the way you demonstrated, through your actions, the path of transformation.

Leave your comments: Who has demonstrated the path of transformation in your life?