E-couragement: Self-Reflection
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” Pema Chodron
When I first opened the email I remember feeling confused, which was strange since it was from Tom Stratton. I’ve known Tom for over 10 years; he’s a good friend, a skilled communicator, and a long time subscriber to my blog. A recent posting (Make it Personal) resonated with his passion for improving relationships through effective communication and deeper understanding. Although it was common for Tom to forward blog postings along to his contact list, it was unusual to have this type of impact on me.
Tom often copies me in his emails when including my blog link. This particular time, he provided a brief bio so the recipients might have some insight about the author. Here’s what he wrote:
Dear Friends, This is written by a friend we knew from a church in Greensboro. Janet and I attended his deceased wife’s memorial celebration a few weeks back. It was really inspiring. I wish we had met Ivy. Since we have known Rich he’s had a major career change, he and his first wife divorced, he started a business, he worked through parenting his teenage daughters, met and married Ivy and is now healing from her death… While his monthly e-letter is business oriented, you might enjoy subscribing. Tom
As I read his description of the blog author, it seemed as if he was referring to someone else. I felt pity for that guy and all the challenges he had faced. It seemed like a tough and tragic life. Then it hit me like a stun gun…that’s me he’s talking about. That’s my life. Wholly crap!
You see, if you asked about my life, I’d tell you about my blessings. I’d talk about my two amazing daughters who’ve softened my heart and taught me priceless lessons. I’d surely mention the gift of waking up every morning and doing work that’s been placed within my heart alongside clients I love. I’d speak of the life changing insights I’d learned about myself from a marriage that ended after nineteen years. I’d share how life has taught me to open up and be vulnerable, provided me with the intimate and meaningful relationships I had always longed for. I’d surely mention my wife Ivy who died of breast cancer a mere four and a half years after we married. She created a safe place where I learned how to love a woman wholeheartedly. I might even talk about the house we bought together and how it’s become a sanctuary for me.
Can you see “ahaa” for me? The guy in Tom’s email and I are one. It’s not a tragic life at all—rather a blessed, robust, abundant, and engaging life. I can’t feel sorry for that guy. I know firsthand how full his existence really is. Life has been a wonderful teacher to me. I’ve been an attentive student. This is my experience. I’ve chosen to view it as an amazing journey and remain fully engaged. Ultimately, it’s meant to be lived and shared along side of you.
Leave your comment: How have your life experiences added depth and meaning for you?