E-couragement: Parking Lot Lesson
“If we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” Wayne Dyer There are only a few numbers I’ll answer when I’m busy and my cell phone rings. One of those numbers is from my youngest daughter’s school. So, when that number showed up on my phone one recent morning, I dropped what I was doing and answered right away. Before hearing all of Carley’s words, her voice tone immediately told me what was wrong. “Dad, I don’t feel good.”
I resisted the urge from my early childhood upbringing to say, “If you’re not bleeding from a major artery, then get back to class” and decided to pick her up in the hopes that some rest would help her feel better. In an attempt to multi-task, I decided to run a few errands on our way home.
After purchasing items from the local office supply store, we returned to the car. Approaching, I heard an unfamiliar “hissing” sound. Getting closer, I noticed our right rear tire beginning to sag. Instantaneously I could feel my mind going down a path of negativity. Within a microsecond, I was experiencing thoughts of I can’t believe this is happening to me and Crap, this is not the time to have a flat tire! Seconds later these thoughts were overpowered when I heard Carley exclaim, “Dad, what a great place to have a flat!” My victimization thinking came to a screeching halt as I was forced to admit, she‘s right.
Yes, she was right. It was a great place to have a flat. We weren’t on a busy highway with eighteen wheelers whizzing by. We weren’t on some gravel road miles from civilization. Instead we were in the middle of a calm and spacious parking lot. Carley got her books from the car, sat down in the parking lot and began to do some schoolwork as I commenced changing the tire. Except for Carley’s occasional whining, “Dad, why does it take you so long to change one tire,” it was a painless experience.
Here’s the lesson for engaging leaders that Carley taught me that day. It doesn’t take any more energy to choose gratitude over negativity. In fact, over time, negativity becomes much more exhausting and draining. What it does take is an awareness of our habitual thought patterns coupled with the discipline to choose differently. Until Carley “coached” me that day I was allowing an old habit of negativity to take precedence over my preferred choice of positive and grateful thinking.
Leaders can be in the habit of seeing the downside of situations. They can be conditioned to find what’s wrong and proclaim, “I can’t believe this is happening” often followed by, “Who’s fault is this?” Engaging leaders, on the other hand, do not fall victim to this, they have done the work necessary to create positive thinking habits and patterns that allow them to see the opportunities embedded in any situation. That’s how they earn followership, by seeing things differently than the rest—like, what a great place to have a flat!
Leave your comments: What have you found helps support and nurture a positive and grateful attitude? How has “finding the good” in situations helped you be a more effective leader?